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Should I let my friend do surgery on my toes?

I have 7 toes on my right foot, and only four on the left. I want my feet fixed but my insurance company won’t pay for cosmetic foot surgery. I have this Friend who is friends with a butcher at Wal Mart. The Butcher said his knives are so sharp I wouldn’t even feel it. My friend said he would borrow the knives and remove my 2 extra toes if a gave him one of my dogs , “i have like 5 ” After the toes are off we are planning to go to the emergency room and tell them it was an accident and then have them sew them back onto the other foot. I heard that when you are transporting body parts you should put them in a glass of milk and then in a cooler. Do you think that this operation will improve my appearance and general well being.